It is the desire of every one to have relationship(s) that is void of quarreling, fighting, chaos and the rest of that. I know that society will tell you that it is practically impossible for you to be in a relationship with someone where these things will not show their ugly face, but that’s not true.
You can be in relationship that is void of strife and the earlier you start envisioning that, the better for you. What we see every day on movies and even on soap operas indirectly passes a message to us that, it is difficult to be in a relationship without strife but like I said earlier on, that’s not also true.
It’s possible to be in a relationship where there won’t be strife. I’m not saying that there won’t be instances where these things would not want to occur, there would be but you don’t give room for those things to happen by not responding in like manner. Don’t forget that it takes two to fight.
Mark 9:23 makes it clear. If you believe that everyone is having a hard time in their relationship so mine also won’t be the first, so it will be unto you. But if you believe that though everyone may be having a rough time in their relationship but mine will be different so it will also be for you.
It’s all about the perception at which we use in entering into relationship that matters. After all nobody planned to file for a divorce before getting married (except for contract marriage). Nobody in his/her right senses plans for a divorce before getting married, but we see that happening. It simply means that something is wrong especially from the onset of that relationship.
Before I proceed further I will like you to know that this article will be in parts because of its bulkiness. I believe that this article will bless you and help change your mind of what relationship is all about. I will also be sharing some essentials on building a successful relationship with you that will be of great blessing to you. Please note that these are not rules nor principles. I don’t believe that there are any relationship that has gone too bad that can’t be restored and no relationship that is too good that can’t be improved on.
What came to mind when you read the title “building a successful relationship?” you may think “Oh Moses wants to talk about Husband-Wife relationship or dating relationship” Well in this article I won’t be discussing on a specific kind of relationship but will give some essentials needed to build a successful relationship. This essentials can be applied to every relationships you are probably imagining right now.
The reason I titled it “building a successful relationship” is because, to have a relationship that will stand the test of time is not got in a day. Successful relationships are relationships that has passed through the testing and storms of life and yet still remain strong and growing. Successful relationship is a relationship that not only the public knows that “all things are well” but the individual concerned are convinced of that.
You see, there are some relationships that the individuals pretend all things are well in the public but behind the cottons they sleep backing each other, they are enemies in the house and friends in the public. No, that’s not what a successful relationship is all about. For every relationship to mature and grow, there must be a combine effort of both parties involved.
Building a successful relationship is not something that takes a day or two, no. it is a continuous process. As you grow in that relationship you get to know and understand yourselves better. You can’t meet someone in a day and conclude in your heart that you have built a successful relationship all because there was a free flow of communication.
Some guys have this mindset that if they woo a lady and successfully gets her number, then they have started a relationship. Some persons term successful relationship as meeting someone in a day and engaging that person in a series of conversation and from that conversation you get to know some things about that person and that settles it.
It goes beyond that, what you have just received is information but the process of the application of what you have received is what matters. How well you are able to use that information to help grow that relationship is what matters.
Some persons only have a head knowledge of the characters of their friends but when it comes to the life application of it they do otherwise. They can tell you ‘this is how this person is, this is how that person is’ but when it comes to them living out what they know about that person they do otherwise.
Building a successful relationship like I said earlier on is not a day’s work but it begins with a day. The day you choose to improve on your relationship with your closest pal, the day you choose to stop complaining about how hard it is to live with this “crazy” “selfish” person and give room for God’s grace to flow through you, the day you choose not to reply the insults thrown at you by your friend. It all begins with a day.
A friend of mine was chatting with me and she said she wants to know her friends better and I was glad when I heard that. To some persons “she doesn’t have work”, but know this that whatsoever investment you make on your friends, you sure have a return.
Let’s do something practical here, “how would you react if on your birthday some persons you EXPECT to call you didn’t call nor text?” this question is meant to reveal to you how well you have built a relationship with this person(s). I’m sure by now you are already giving yourself a reply (smiles).
Sometimes back I asked a lady this very question and she didn’t even allow me finish my sentence before she exploded! It was as if I was the person that didn’t called nor texted and she wanted to pounce on me like a lion coming after its prey.
This will help you understand the kind of relationship you have built over time with this person(s). Why is it also that there are some persons that would not call you on your birthday and you won’t even get angry they did not call? Why is that so? Have you ever asked yourself that question?
To be continued…